


meet me behind the mall

by mauxre



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Reader-Insert, Secret Relationship, Summer Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:35:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28402581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mauxre/pseuds/mauxre
Summary: “salt air, and the rust on your door; i never needed anything more.”— in which the brief, passion-filled august you spent with sakusa kiyoomi started and ended with five words.
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	meet me behind the mall

**Author's Note:**

> listen to: **august** by taylor swift
> 
> i already wrote a similar story involving atsumu [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28829487/chapters/70711581) but apparently i can never get enough of this prompt :o

Sometimes, you wondered if he ever felt anything for you. Anything at all.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was a force to be reckoned with in his own little way. He was a mystery, an enigma, and an open book all in the same breath. Sometimes, you found yourself overwhelmed with his passion and overall intensity. But, more often than not, you found yourself starved for his thoughts, for his heart, for _him_.

He was the impossible. He was unattainable. And if it wasn’t for the fact that his skin still bore the faded, lust-filled marks you had left the other night in the heat of the moment, you would’ve thought he was unreachable.

But, you supposed, he still was. And he always will be.

Because though he spent many summer nights in the comfort of your bed, he never stayed for a single morning.

“I thought you wouldn’t come…”

He stared at you, confused. The furrow of his brows was expressive enough, and it more than made up for the mask covering the lower half of his face.

“I texted you, didn’t I?” His eyebrows furrowed even more.

He _did_ text you. But unlike all the other times before, this time felt different. This time felt _final_.

_(“Meet me behind the mall. 10am.”)_

You tried to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach, straining your ear to focus instead on the faint chatter of the people that was barely audible from the safe corner of the back of the mall you and the wing spiker were standing in.

You refused to feel scared. You refused to be desperate. You had absolutely no business holding on to whatever thing you had going on with Sakusa. You _refused_ to keep holding on.

But it was easier said than done.

_(“Are you sure?”_

_His grip on your waist tightened, and you had to grip his shoulders just as hard to hide the way your hands started shaking._

_His skin felt smooth under your fingertips. So warm._

_“Never have I ever before,” you whispered, staring straight into his dark eyes with all the confidence you could muster. “I want it to be you.”_

_His eyes darkened even more if that was at all possible. Leaning forward, his lips hovered a hair’s width over yours, and you vaguely registered his next words as his cool breath fanned over your face for a fraction of a second._

_“One night. That’s all I can give you.”_

_Then his lips finally crashed onto yours, and by the night’s end, the two of you were no more than a series of sweaty limbs, tangled in your bedsheets.”)_

It started as just one night. But one night turned into two, two turned into five, and five turned into a whole summer.

And it wasn’t like he was playing you. In truth, he had been very upfront with you since the beginning. But, unfortunately for him, your traitorous heart couldn’t even hope to understand the meaning of “just friends, nothing more”.

Sometimes, you got where he was coming from. Sometimes, you understood just why he wanted to keep you at an arm’s length in public, why he wanted it all to be hush-hush. Sometimes, you’d even go as far as to insist you weren’t even friends. Just acquaintances (with benefits), at most.

But, sometimes, you felt it was all unfair. Sometimes, you couldn’t understand why you couldn’t just come up to him in public, why you were stuck being his dirty little secret. Sometimes, you’d even pluck up the courage to slam your bedroom door on his face in defiance.

But, every single time, you would cave in.

Every single night without fail, you would open your door and let him fuck you stupid. When he would pull his sweaty body off of you at the crack of dawn, you would grip his arms for a few more seconds and wish for a few more hours. When he would finish showering, you would hand him his jacket and zip him up. And when he would nod at you as you showed him out your door, you would nod in return and bite your tongue to keep from blurting out hopelessly pathetic words.

Because you shouldn’t ask him to stay, you shouldn’t beg for more. But, God, did you want to.

“Well,” you barked out a dry laugh. “I’m here.”

You _were_ here. Sure, you had to cancel a few plans when he texted, but you were here.

“Right,” Sakusa nodded, shuffling on his feet for a bit. “Sorry I’m late. I got caught up in some… stuff.”

“Don’t worry about it. I only just got here, anyways.”

_Lies._

“Oh, good,” he breathed out a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing, and those two anxiety-filled hours you spent waiting for him suddenly felt more than worth it. “Anyways, I, uh…”

He trailed off, his eyes looking at anywhere but you. The silence and the awkwardness was starting to get to you. Your heart started beating erratically as it realized the stark contrast between this meeting and all the others before it.

The other times he asked you to meet him at the back of the mall always ended up with your flushed face and his messed up hair. This time, though, felt different.

He looked at you, blinking a couple of times. The look in his eyes felt new yet familiar all at the same time, and you already knew the next words that came out of his mouth before he even said them.

“We can’t keep seeing each other anymore.”

_(Sakusa groaned deeply, and the resigned look on his face told you it wasn’t because he was coming down from his high._

_He looked at you with wide eyes, his spent body hovering above yours. Pushing himself off of you and flopping on his back right beside you, he groaned again, covering his eyes with his arm. Clutching the sheets to your body, you shot up in alarm._

_“No, wait, I didn’t mean it. I just—” You blabbered helplessly. “Kiyoomi, I—”_

_“I told you not to fall in love with me,” he sighed before getting up and looking for his clothes._

_Scrambling, you stood up and got dressed, too. “No, wait! I didn’t— Can’t we— Can we just pretend I didn’t say anything?”_

_“I don’t know. Can you?”_

_He stared at you, demanding. You stared back at him, pleading._

_“Can you pretend?” He took a step closer to you. “Can you pretend you didn’t just say you love me?” He was a foot away from you. “Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for me?”_

_This was the most he said to you ever since you met. This was also the most silent you’ve been with him ever since the two of you started your little arrangement. The implications were not lost on you._

_“I…” You gulped, looking down to the floor in defeat because what good would it do to lie? “I can’t, Kiyoomi…”_

_He nodded slowly, sighing. “Then there’s no point for us to continue seeing each other.”)_

His words, though not unfamiliar, struck a chord in you. You had seen this exact scene before, you knew how it ended, but like hell were you gonna go without a fight.

“Is it because of what I said?” You muttered, your voice loud and clear with a hint of anger seeping through. “The other night, when I told you I love you?”

Silence.

“You’re a coward, Kiyoomi,” you spat at him.

“I’m not a _coward_.”

“Oh, but you are. I made the mistake of telling you three little words, and you run away? You’re a coward and—”

“You can paint me out to be the bad guy all you want,” he cut you off calmly, “but we both know I was upfront with you from the start.”

_(“We’re just friends who help each other out. We can never be anything more.”_

_“I never needed anything more.”)_

You were being irrational, you were starting to realize that. It wasn’t like you and Kiyoomi were ever _together_ in the first place. You knew that. But your traitorous heart still didn’t.

“I’m sorry that you got hurt,” he continued. “I truly am. But I can’t force myself to feel something I don’t.”

Upfront... That was what Sakusa was, and that was what he will always be. It was both painfully endearing and immensely cruel.

“I just want you to know that I’m glad we had those times together.” He sounded sincere and… soft, even? “It was fun while it lasted, but I guess I—”

“Please,” you whispered. “Please stop talking…”

A beat passed. Then two. Then five. Then a whole minute.

You didn’t even realize he stepped closer to you until you felt his hand grip your shoulder and you heard him sigh. And just like that first night, his cool breath fanned over your face for a moment, before you felt his lips press gently on your forehead and you felt him whisper softly against your skin.

“Take care of yourself, okay?”

And with those five words, your blissful summer that was once too good to be true finally ended.

Five words… It was crazy to think how your passion-filled affair started with five simple words that led to secret meetings behind the mall. It was even crazier to think how the bittersweet summer ended with five words, still, that led to an inescapable goodbye.

It all happened too fast, too soon. The sun-drenched month of August frantically slipped away like an insignificant moment in time, and you had to force yourself to come to terms with what you had lost.

But what did you lose, really? As far as it went, you couldn’t lose what you never had.

And Sakusa was never yours to begin with, despite how much you used to try and convince yourself otherwise. But it warmed your heart to know that for one brief, salty-aired summer, you were _his_.


End file.
